Friday 28 August 2020

All I Want

Sunday 1 March 2020

Watching The Stars, Vol. 2 Album Note


Release Links:

Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/album/12iiOYFX74uhlUtl5EDsh3?si=AoOtPkRoT4GzScm8WYcO-A

AppleMusic: https://music.apple.com/de/album/watching-the-stars-vol-2/1497209531?l=en

Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=OLAK5uy_kWTHsa4ONZzDtN_xeStu7svVpfDBjzHe0




Songs:
  1. Let Her Go
  2. Sitting in the Kitchen
  3. Don't Forget Your Coat
  4. Hey Jane
  5. I Miss
  6. Watching the Stars, Vol. 2
  7. Interlude
  8. The Last Survivors, Vol. 2
  9. Pretty Lion
  10. Talk to Me
  11. She, Vol. 2
  12. Interlude/Ticking
  13. You're Okay
  14. Sitting in the Kitchen, Vol. 2
  15. Too Late
  16. She


Album Note:    

 I don't really know how to start this. This album has been in the works for years now. It's something very dear to me. I think a lot about me as a person and my traits. I guess from the outside many people will notice I'm an open person and a fun person. I guess that's not the side of me you'll find on the album. My other side is that I'm a very thoughtful person. I catch myself a lot daydreaming with anxious or depressed thoughts. That's something I tried to catch in the album. My love for music, as most of you know, is influenced by my family. My parents, my siblings and my larger family are passionate listeners and a lot are also musicians. The album is me I think. It's a diary of the last couple of years. Mostly stuff that happened with girls but also thoughts that crossed my mind a lot. It depicts recent and older phases where some things happened that had a large impact on me. I wanted a raw atmosphere. So it helped that I just recorded it via my phone on GarageBand in my mums living room. It's very much back to basics and not too much thought was put in adding various instruments or using synths, FX or mixing and mastering around too much. I want the listener to have the feeling as though they're in a pub or out and about and randomly listening to my music. Or they could imagine playing in front of them as a one on one session. 

          

           Watching the stars started as one simple idea which grew religiously in my mind. I wrote the first song from the album before I knew what it meant and I'm still always learning. Obviously. I’ve learnt to accept that music is a hobby and that yes I might make money out of it but it could be so much more just in my mind. It's a therapeutic and meditative way to cope for me. It's a time to reflect and it's a game. Creativity is in everyone and I'm glad that I've realised that mine is this musicMy biggest influences are Ben Howard, Fink, Charlie Cunningham and Nick Mulvey. Amazing artists if you don't know them then you should check them out.

My hope for you listening is that you feel something. Maybe you're proud of me, or maybe you get me and know what I've gone through. I don't have any favourite song anymore on the album. 

Thanks for reading and enjoy the album. You can also give me Feedback via Facebook, Instagram, WhatsApp, YouTube, email, normal mail, smoke signals or morse code (not the last two, I can't read those).



           Watching The Stars was written in 2017. I and my girlfriend at the time were outside at night for a walk when I said the words: "Now we're watching the stars/ doesn't matter if it's cold outside". She told me to write them down. A couple of days later I tried them out. A few months passed and I forgot about the lyrics. When I flew back from Thailand in April 2018 I had an epiphany about a solo project which would revolve around the idea behind Watching The Stars. The song does mean a great deal to me and the concept of watching the stars as a whole has been something I've always done. I remember it as an activity I did where I could dream. 


On my own but also with my closest friend I would have the deepest conversations. Interlude and Talk To Me deal with anxiety. They were very much just recorded and written when I wasn't feeling well. Let Her Go, Hey Jane, Too Late and She Vol. 2 were written in between Christmas 2019 and January 2020, they were inspired by some things that happened then. Lets just say it was an interesting time where I could get very creative. I also wrote Don't Forget Your Coat and Sitting In The Kitchen Vol. 1 and 2 then. I liked both versions and couldn't decide which one to cut. The other songs on the album are a rework of The Last Survivors and Pretty Lion as well as some songs that I have uploaded videos of or played live a few times. So if you've followed me for a while or seen me play live you might recognise a few songs such as She or I Miss.


           I had writers' block for about a year between the summers of 2018 and 2019. I only wrote two songs during that whole time for this album. Everything else that I did during that time wasn't up to par lyrically. Luckily I developed my voice and my musical skills further during that time, so it was still a good time for me. 


           The idea of a solo project started in 2016 after I recorded some stuff with my old band, but things started to get stale. The decision and preparations to go solo started in Thailand and the first part came out in the summer of 2018. Now two years later you will hear improvements and changes in style. It took me a lot longer than planned because I think I was very perfectionist and I didn't know what I wanted from my music. I now know that I want it to be raw and real. It should capture the emotion and it should give out different vibes. The lyrics should be as important as the way I play the guitar. It should fit but I shouldn't worry about playing something wrong. That makes it an artistic choice!

           With this album, I have created a dramatic, melancholic and simplistic listening experience which goes back to the roots of any musical endeavour. It is just me and my guitar mostly. Sometimes strings or drums or bass was added it needed but mostly it is just a simple recording of me and my guitar.

Watching The Stars, Vol. 2 Lyrics




Lyrics:

Let Her Go

You know you made the right choice
When you see her smile even though she's in love with another guy
Heartbreak and great boring sorrow
It is natural so please boy take your time
And falling in love again it won't be easy
But then life is hard yeh it ain't pleasing

Cos all you ever wanted 
Was to let her know she's beautiful

If you love her then you have to let her go
Let her go (If you love her, If you love her)
Let her go (If you love her, If you love her)
Let her go (If you love her, If you love her)
Let her go (If you love her, If you love her)
Let her go (If you love her, If you love her)
Go, go
Let her go (If you love her, If you)

You know ist tough to find someone out there
Who knows true love
All the days spent wondering and dreaming
Don't know what to do with all your feelings
After all, there ain't no happy ever after
Especially not in a world filled with disasters

Cos all you ever wanted 
Was to let her know she's beautiful

If you love her then you have to let her go
Let her go (If you love her, If you love her)
Let her go (If you love her, If you love her)
Let her go (If you love her, If you love her)
Let her go (If you love her, If you love her)
Let her go (If you love her, If you love her)
Let her go (If you love her, If you love her)

Please don't bury your anger (Your anger)
Please don't bury your soul
It will all soon get much better (Much better)
Trust me I should know (Should know, should know)

Cos all you ever wanted 
Was to let her know she's beautiful

If you love her then you have to let her go
Let her go (If you love her, If you love her)
Let her go (If you love her, If you love her)
If you love her (If you love her, If you love her)
Let her go (If you love her, If you love her)
Let her go (If you love her, If you love her)
Let her go (If you love her, If you love her)
Let her go (If you love her, If you love her)
Let her go (If you love her, If you love her)
Let her go, oh no (If you love her, If you love her)
Let her go (If you love her, If you love her)
 

Sitting in the Kitchen

Morning sex and a warm cup of coffee in bed
Girl I like your company
I kiss your head
We should probably get some food
But I don't wanna leave your side
Wishing you would ever be mine

Why am I all alone
Sitting in the Kitchen getting stoned
Why am I all alone
Sitting in the Kitchen getting stoned

I really don't know why you said that I'm a great guy with a nice smile
I bet you just lied for the fith time
Right lets take our time
Better figure out which coffee is mine
Better figure out if you're fine
Girl don't worry I won't cry

Why am I all alone
Sitting in the Kitchen getting stoned
Why am I all alone
Sitting in the Kitchen getting stoned

Childhood pictures on the wall
Where I'm 16 years old
I'm drunk on love
But I'm, I'm stoned

So Why am I all alone
Sitting in the Kitchen getting stoned
So Why am I all alone
All alone, all alone

Don't Forget Your Coat

It's a Berlin sunrise, a London sunshine
There's a thunder brewing, two lovers screwing
A shower's coming, two singers humming
A shadow gets colder, two trees get bolder

So don't forget your coat, don't forget your coat
Don't forget your coat, don't forget your coat

Cos it's cold outside and it'll make you numb
Cos it's cold outside and you ain't that dumb

A leaf falls down now while a mother screams out loud
A revolt from underneath the dark, dark clouds
The shade gets stronger the light just gets weaker
The shadow gains in strength while the night just gains in length

So don't forget your coat, don't forget your coat
Don't forget your coat, don't forget your coat

Cos it's cold outside and it'll make you numb
Cos it's cold outside and you ain't that dumb

It's a Berlin sunrise, a Berlin sunshine
It's a Berlin sunrise, a London sunshine

So don't forget your coat, don't forget your coat
Don't forget your coat, don't forget your coat

Cos it's cold outside and it'll make you numb
Cos it's cold outside and it'll make you numb

Hey Jane

Standing here on this platform
I'm begging you please don't go
Zip up your coat tight it's cold
Hold me a light I need a smoke

Hey Jane, hey Jane
Please stay, don't walk away
Please don't step on that train
Hey Jane, hey Jane

Hold me tight just one last time
It'll be alright girl you'll be fine
One last kiss before we go
One last thing you need to know
I love you so, I love you so, I love you so
I love you so, I love you so

Hey Jane, hey Jane
Please stay, don't walk away
Please don't step on that train
Hey Jane, hey Jane

Goodbye, Goodbye, Goodbye Jane
I tried, I tried all the same
It's time, it's time to walk away
All this love poured down the drain

Hey Jane, hey Jane
Please stay, don't walk away
Please don't step from that train
Hey Jane, hey Jane

I Miss

I miss the way you hug me from behind as we wake up to the sunrise
In a room that's white with warm dim lights at night
We were on an island surrounded by a white-blue ocean
And we could hear the waves breaking in the distance

Everything seems like slow motion
Everything seems like slow motion

I miss the way you look at me with pure love
I look deep into your eyes wish this never ends

Everything seems like slow motion
Everything seems like slow motion
Everything seems like slow motion
Everything seems like slow motion

Watching the Stars, Vol. 2

So you're watching me When I smile
So you make me laugh when I cry
That is our reason let's shine together

Now we're watching the stars
They shine so bright
Doesn't matter if it's cold outside
Now we're watching the stars
They shine so bright
Doesn't matter if it's cold outside

So you're listening to me and feeling warm
So you're the one person that I can trust

Now we're watching the stars
They shine so bright
Doesn't matter if it's cold outside
Now we're watching the stars
They shine so bright
Doesn't matter if it's cold outside

That I can trust, That I can trust, That I can trust
Find someone you can trust
That I can trust, That I can trust, trust, trust

Now we're watching the stars
They shine so bright
Doesn't matter if it's cold outside
Now we're watching the stars
They shine so bright
They shine, they shine, they shine

Interlude

You said that I
Shouldn't go
Where other men have travelled before

And girl I ask you why
Would you say this to me
You know that I'm scared
I have anxiety

You said that I have anxieties

I should not go anywhere near you
That is the truth, That is the truth
And I shouldn't go anywhere new
That is the truth

The Last Survivors, Vol. 2

Did you know that love was endless these days? And it's easy to find
Did you know hate is a path the wrong way? And it can kill your mind
Now, what can you say?
You've come all this way and it turns out it was all for nothing
Now, what can you say?
You've come all this way and it turns out

The last survivors of the humankind
The last survivors of the humankind

Did you know that joy causes the most pain? Because it's in disguise
Did you know that anger passes in vain? Because it's with a fight
Now, what can you say? 
You've come all this way and it turns out it was all for nothing
Now, what can you say?
You've come all this way and it turns out it was

The last survivors of the humankind
The last survivors of the humankind

Why do we teach free speech when there is none?
Why does no one care who won the last election?
What the hell are you looking down for?
Why are you starting another stupid oil war?
Are we all lost? I don't understand
You're Waiting for someone to reach for your hand
Now, what can you say?
You've come all this way and it turns out it was all for nothing
You've come all this way, this way

The last survivors of the humankind
The last survivors of the humankind

Pretty Lion

All our nights, they feel so right
And when I sleep I only see your Name
That's life, there's no more pain
 
Cos you're my pretty Lion and I'm a Fox dancing in the snow
Cos you're my pretty Darling as you have nowhere to go
Cos you're my pretty Lion and I'm a Fox dancing in the snow
Cos you're my pretty Darling as you have nowhere to go

And we are standing under street lamps in the rain
And we start Kissing there is no more pain
 
Cos you're my pretty Lion and I'm a Fox dancing in the snow
Cos you're my pretty Darling as you have nowhere to go
Cos you're my pretty Lion and I'm a Fox dancing in the snow
Cos you're my pretty Darling as you have nowhere to go

Ohh-ho, oh-ho
Ohh-ho, oh-ho

You're my Lion
You're my Lion
Lion, my Lion
 
Cos you're my pretty Lion and I'm a Fox dancing in the snow
Cos you're my pretty Darling as you have nowhere to go
Cos you're my pretty Lion and I'm a Fox dancing in the snow
Cos you're my pretty Darling as you have nowhere to go
Oh no

Talk to Me

Attention she's fragile
She's made of glass
So don't you dare
Attention I'm fragile
I'm also made of glass
So don't you dare

Talk to me as I walk away
As I think out loud: Fuck this shit I'm out
Don't you talk to me as I walk away
As I think I'm too proud to say my shit out loud

Attention I'm fragile
I'm made of glass
So don't you dare

Talk to me as I walk away
As I think out loud
As I Fuck this, fuck this, fuck this out loud
Don't you talk to me
But when I want to walk away
When I want to leave this place
Cos It's a fucking disgrace, disgrace, disgrace

Don't you talk to me as I walk away
As I leave this place
Cos It's a disgrace

Don't you
No

Oh-Oh-Oh-Oh

She, Vol. 2

I've been drinking beer too much
That is all I taste when I taste water
That is it I've had enough
Now it is my time to caught her

Back when she walked in the room and I saw her
She was so beautiful, She was gorgeous
Back when she walked in the room and I saw her
She was so beautiful, She was gorgeous

I've been shaking waking up
Oh I see that I'm in luck
This is a girl that I can love
This is a girl that I can have
From my city
She's from my city
She's from my city
From my

Back when she walked in the room and I saw her
She was so beautiful, She was gorgeous
Back when she walked in the room and I saw her
She was so beautiful, She was gorgeous

She was perfect, she was
She was perfect
She was, she was, she was perfect

Back when she walked in the room and I saw her
She was so beautiful, She was gorgeous
Back when she walked in the room and I saw her
She was so beautiful, She was

Interlude/Ticking

You're Okay

You were 21. You were high. You made a wish someday that you could fly
You were 22 you fell in love. You trusted the guy who held your hand
You were 24 and then broke up. You travelled the world but never woke up

Cos you spent your life in bed dreaming your life away
You got married nor a job. No, that dream never came
Cos you spent your life in bed thinking what could have been
Now I'm sitting on stage hoping your heaven treats you well
I'm hoping heaven treats you well. I'm hoping heaven treats you well
I'm hoping heaven treats you well. I'm hoping you're okay

Oh Oh
Heaven treats you well
I'm hoping you're okay
Oh Oh

You were 28 and drank away your life
Never got to be, got to be, got to be a wife
You died cold and alone
It was so cold you were stoned
It was so cold and you were stoned
And at your funeral, they played this song
Everyone started to cry asking what went wrong

Cos you spent your life in bed dreaming your life away
You got married nor a job. No, that dream never came
Cos you spent your life in bed thinking what could have been
Now I'm sitting on stage hoping your heaven treats you well
I'm hoping heaven treats you well. I'm hoping heaven treats you well
I'm hoping heaven treats you well. I'm hoping you're okay

Oh-oh, oh-oh
Heaven treats you well
I'm hoping you're okay
Oh-oh, oh-oh
Heaven treats you well
Heaven treats you

Sitting in the Kitchen, Vol. 2

I don't know why you think that I'm such a great guy
You said that I have a really nice smile
I just caught you in a blatant lie for the 15th time

So why am I all alone
Sitting in the Kitchen getting stoned
I'm 22, 22 years old

Right lets take our time
I better figure out which coffee is mine
I better figure out if you're fine on the phone
Girl don't worry you shouldn't cry

So why am I all alone
Sitting in the Kitchen getting stoned
I'm 22, 22 years old

It's morning sex and a warm cup of coffee in my bed
Girl I like your company a kiss your head
We should probably get some food
I don't wanna leave you so soon
Wishing that you would forever be mine
We will forever be by eachothers side
Loving eachother until we die
See now that's a fucking lie
It's a lie

So why am I all alone
Sitting in the Kitchen getting stoned
I'm 22, 22 years old

So why am I all alone
Sitting in the Kitchen getting stoned
I'm 22

So why am I all alone
Sitting in the Kitchen getting stoned
I'm 22, 22 years old

Too Late

I woke up five minutes ago to a whole new world
My head is spinning I drank too much yesterday again
Yes, there's cigarette butts on my coffee table and a cold cup of tea
It's four pm I have to get ready

I'm too late for my date
I'm too late for my date

Better take a shower and wash my hair
Then get my car keys and walk downstairs
Better drive five miles fast
This won't be a disaster
And cross some red lights
To make up for lost time

I'm too late for my date
I'm too late for my date
I'm too late for my date
I'm too late, too late

She ain't here anymore, anymore
She's gone away
She ain't here anymore, anymore, anymore
She's left this place

Cos I'm too late for my date
I'm too late for my date
I'm too late for my date

Ohhhhaaaa
Ohhhhaaaa

Too Late Ohhh-aaa
Ohhhhaaaa for my date

She

She is flowers, She is rain, She is a beautiful, shes a beautiful sunny day
She is one Girl in the rain, She is a beautiful beautiful sunny day
And I ain't saying she ain't worth to fight for
 
She is the World to me, She makes me feel like eternity
She turns the World into something better
And When she smiles I smile back too, She Makes the World feel fun for you

She is smiling When your Late
She will be finding better days fo pain
And I ain't saying she isn't worth to cry for
 
She is the World to me, She makes me feel like eternity
She turns the World into something better
And When she smiles I smile back too, She Makes the World feel fun for you

She is mine, She is mine, she is mine
She is mine, She is mine, she is mine 
She is mine, She is mine, she is mine 
She is mine, She is mine, she is mine 
 
She is the World to me, She makes me feel like eternity
She puts the World into something better
And When she smiles I smile back too, She Makes the World feel fun for you

She is mine, She is mine, she is mine, she is mine, mine
She is mine, She is mine, she is mine 
She is mine, She is mine, she is mine 
She is mine, She is mine, she is mine

Thursday 30 January 2020

A Drunk Story


‘I need a beer.’ That’s what I thought shortly after I saw this amazing girl. There is something truly awful about falling in love with a girl that can never love you back. When you come back to that place. The place where you first knew she is the one. Where you saw her beauty for the first time. The long soft curly hair seemingly floating on air as though in slow motion. And her stare with bright blue eyes fitting perfectly to her warm cheeks and her perfect smile.

In that Moment you realise that you had forgotten all about the world. All you see is her. Listening to how she talks as though she was Shakespeare, singing as though she was Monroe. Her laugh more beautiful than any you've seen before and her body one that should strike all in oar. And everything just stops. My heart skips a beat, my fingers tremble and my head starts to spin. Dreaming about what we could do together, planning the rest of our lives in that one moment where everything will be perfect. 

‘Just kiss her’ I think. ‘No that would make everything way more complicated. We're friends and I could really do with having a friend like her, someone who likes to talk, someone who is open and trustworthy, someone who listens to me too. But I might as well tell her I love her. No, I might as well bloody not.’ What If she says "No, sorry I don't see you that way?” ‘What will I do then? How embarrassing that would be?’ Or much worse what if she says, "I know"? ‘I'd be fucked… I couldn't live with myself.’ 
The worst possible answer would be: "I love you too". ‘Fuck I'd be scared then… That's the rest of my life gone. I’ll be hard working just to make her happy every day. What if we have kids? How am I supposed to support them? What if she ages really badly? Or what if I age really badly and she leaves me for some handsome ripped French guy who is loaded, and I’m left alone having to pay the allomone for our child and my only friend will be a banana plant I named Jeff and then in the end I’ll be staring at the TV watching some sleazy TV show and eating three-day-old pizza slices.’

"Don't you think?" Fuck she said something. Just nod and say something...
"Aye" I answer.
Fuck knows why... I'm neither Scottish nor a Spas. Why the fuck would I say "Aye"?
‘My God… this girl can talk though. Jesus how did we get to this topic again?’
"So then I said to him: No, you go fuck yourself. And he was like... really shocked that I was like... well… Fucking coursing at him... so…"
Well, alright she isn't exactly perfect, but she is definitely better than the last couple of girls I've meet. I mean the girl I meet up with two weeks ago still wore braces…Jesus braces?! We're not fucking twelve anymore sweetheart! Get a fucking grip!
I should probably try flirting a bit. Maybe wink at her or something. No that’s silly I’m not cool enough to pull that off. Ok, try something… close on eye contact, maybe that'll work.
"Are you alright? You’re looking funny?"
Fuck...
"Yeah… Yeah fine. Do continue…" I gesture with my hand politely.
Now she thinks I’m weird. Well how else am I supposed to get her to like me? I mean I could try talking more but she doesn't even finish a sentence and already starts another one. I haven't got time to say anything.
"Pffffffff" I let out a slight puff with my cheeks.
"Sorry, am I boring you?" She asks. ‘I really really really did it this time.’

"Sorry no I was just thinking... well... well I thought I might-"
"Have another drink?". Peter interrupts and immediately starts flirting with that girl. Now her attitude has changed completely. Her eyes gaze upon this male specimen standing to my right. 6'5, blonde and blue eyes and ripped as though he's gone to the gym since the day, he left his mother’s womb. Works at a bank making a couple of grand a month. I know what you’re thinking… what does she see in him right? Peter is a Prick. I mean he’s been my best friend for… well as long as I can remember really but still, he’s a prick. So Hence forth he shall be referred to as Prick Pete in my head. Partially because I’m really proud of having come up with that joke all by myself but mostly because to me he is a prick.
"Yeah, tha mate" I pick up the beer and give him a look as though to say: I warmed her up for you bruv, she's all yours, you two love birds have fun. Then I turn around and I walk away.

"Hey how you doin'?"
I turn around. Now who here makes Joey Tribiiani references? Who is this goddess?
It's the most beautiful girl I've ever seen. Brown eyes and a smile that melts my heart. And she's funny. I can just imagine her with her kids playing in the park and being absolutely - lovely.

"Hi I'm Patricia."
Yeah… Fuck no.
I… am… not… seeing myself with that name.
"Hi...yeah... I'm.... leaving" I reply, turn around and head to the dance floor. Maybe I'll find the people I came here with in the first place. Well… that includes a Couple who have been in a relationship for six years and are "so incredibly happy". Cameron and Lizzy. What Lizzy doesn't know is he's been cheating on her for 2 years. But I'm not going to spoil their party, after all I get to play FIFA at their house for hours every day without having to pay rent. I don't really see the necessity to make things complicated for them and, much more importantly, myself. The other bloke I'm here with is mister woman snatched over in the smoking area. What a prick... I've known the guy for 15 years and this is what he does to me. 

I walk past two girls. They’re young… way too young to be at this party. They’re looking at me from the other side of the dance floor. I look away as though I hadn't seen. ‘Try to look cool bro. This is our chance. Stroke through your hair and take another sip. Pretend you're a busy guy who is on a mission of some sort. Be like James Bond only a bit cooler and take a sip of your cheap beer.’ Right in that very moment I spill my beer on my shirt. As the beer drips down my mouth I look at those girls again and smile nervously. Both look at me with disgust and turn to each other laughing and walk away… 

‘Well this couldn't have possibly gone worse.’ Right then I see that womanising twat, Prick Pete, kissing that girl outside in the smokers’ section. ‘Ok cool I can live with that’ I turn and try to find the others. I see my other mate, Cameron, snogging with Patricia on the dance floor. ‘Yeah good on ya mate, where is Lizzy though? Ah she’ll be fine’ I think. And I just now realised that the two young girls were now making out with one another as well. “Great I might have misread that situation then” I mumble. 

“What the actual Fuck?!” I hear Lizzy say just behind me. She saw Cameron and Patricia. Right then she runs towards the bathroom. 

‘Brilliant…’ I follow her and start to walk away from the dance floor, look at my beer and chug the rest. 

As I arrive in the bathroom, I dry my Beer socked T-Shirt in front of the mirror and look at myself. My skin still white in mid-August. My hair totally messed up and my tongue blue from those shots we had earlier. ‘Well fuck it. I'm just here to get drunk anyway.’ 
I turn around to see Lizzy sobbing in the girl’s bathroom. I walk to the door and I'm greeted by screams.
"Get our you fucking perv!" “Get lost you creep!”
"Oh, Fuck off, no one in their right mind would wanna see your twats in the first place!" I reply.
"Lizzy, Are you alright?" I ask.
She turns around to show her teared face and her mascara running down like paint from a wet canvass. 
"He cheated on me! He fucking cheated on me..." 

Her words were calm. She sounded quietly disturbed as though she was surprised that it was in fact Cameron who had cheated on her and not her cheating on him with somebody else. She looked as though she would start burning the whole club down with a lighter if she could.
"Well... right... I don't... I don't know what to... Ehm... eh... do you want another beer?" I offer.
She through her lipstick at me and closed the bathroom door.
‘Well… I should have seen that coming. What was I thinking? Why would I ask her that? How emotionally impaired do I have to be? Well fuck this. I'm getting another beer.’

The Death of Gods Men



Let me paint you a Picture:
In the centre a rusty old fishing boat in a storm with massive waves.
On deck stands a fisherman loosening knots; Draped in water he’s wearing yellow cape.
Just behind him: a wave in the midst of breaking right above him thus sweeping him out to the open sea.
Just to the left: the captain trying to keep the vesel afloat also dressed in a yellow cape but safe from water in his captains’ quarter by the wheel.

Zoom in:
The fisherman on deck. His face seems aged. His eyes are closed.
His mouth: open as though in the middle of a scream. The captain by the wheel. He looks aged with his big white beard. His expression one of sheer terror. His eyes are open but only black. His eyebrows raised as far as possible and his mouth slightly open as though mumbling his final prayer.

Zoom out:
A wave of inevitability.
It is dark blue almost blackish. Its white breaker about to crash into the boat like a great white shark’s teeth attacking a baby seal.
The sky is filled by dark clouds and more waves are to either side of the wave and boat, seemingly just as tremendously deathly as the one which is about to sink the fishermen’s boat.

Zoom in closely:
This time notice the fishermen’s hands.
The captain is holding a crucifix in his right: clearly a man of God. His left hand is trying to hold on to the wheel. The wooden wheel painted in a greyish white is not stable. It is amid a spin. Now look at the fisherman’s hands again and notice he isn’t loosening knots. He is standing at the edge of port side grabbing hold of the railing with his left hand and holding a book in his right. The books title: “The Gods Men”. Underneath the fisherman’s left hand more letters. The boats name. “Genesis 6-9”.

This pictures name:
The death of Gods Men.

A Letter To A Son


Poem 1: A Letter To A Son

We look up to the stars at night
And we begin to realise
That this is our demise
Not everything we say are lies

Well we’re trying something new
‘Cause we’re in love, it’s true
And now the day has passed
But the eternal light shall never last

The one waiting for a summer’s day
The one who turned their back on May
When lovers have long gone
A warning for the young

When the sun has brightly shone
Loud screaming - heavy lungs
A life now just begun
A lyric - never sung
A father - filled with pride
A son just by his side
Growing up is fine
In a life so intertwined

And all of this because
We looked up to the stars one night
Joshua Worts © . Design by FCD.